There are some happy faces in this post, but our family has carried very heavy hearts this past week. Kaylee Sawyer, my husband’s uncle’s beautiful, 23-year-old granddaughter, went missing early Sunday morning (the day we shot this). Tuesday, her body was found; yesterday, she was officially identified, and the man that killed her has been arrested, following a pretty bizarre crime spree – including a shooting of an elderly man, a carjacking of a mom with two young boys at gunpoint, and an alleged kidnapping of a 19-year-old girl. To say the least, it has sent us reeling, trying to understand it all, and we cannot even imagine what her family is going through, right now. Over the years, my husband and I have witnessed several close friends go through the agony of losing a child in a sudden way – sometimes completely unexplained – and have friends that are currently having to watch/help their littles battle life-threatening illnesses. To lose a child, or to watch them suffer, is, I think, the deepest pain we can only try to imagine, to empathize, as parents, but we could never, ever even come close to fully knowing, without actually living it. So I say this from simply a compassionate, observant standpoint, and in no way judgmental, or preachy. It’s in times like these, that my husband and I have noticed two things: these experiences either draw the parents, the family, closer to God, or they push them miles, and miles apart from Him. It’s a simple choice for one, and all, to make, yet an extremely difficult path to daily walk for both, with only one yielding true Peace. There is so much we can never understand – why an all-powerful, all-knowing, loving, sovereign God allows tragedies and suffering to happen – because as mere, severely limited humans, we can never truly know, or even begin to comprehend, the mind of God, and everything He encompasses. We can only go to His Word, and through faith, believe His Word, that He is Sovereign, that His ways are Perfect, and that He “causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). It’s what my husband and I, our family, have chosen, and believe with all our hearts. Faith is a choice, that is grueling and quite painful to daily walk, at times, as we stretch it, but it was our faith that allowed us to continue to trust and lean on Christ when our dad was killed nine months ago. It’s what continues to give us peace and comfort, knowing – without a doubt – that one day we will see him, again, and ultimately, see, and be, with Him.
Thanks for letting me share what has been heavy on my heart. Sometimes I need to use this silly style blog of mine to do just that. Thankful for my loving, Heavenly Father, who has chosen to bless me, completely undeservedly, with a godly, faithful, loving husband, and four, beautiful, precious Gifts. However long, or short, He chooses to entrust them to me here on earth, I will ever choose to love, and trust, and thank my Lord, my Father.
To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.